Guy Finley Aliveworld Community Blog

This Moment Matters

2010-06-26T17:13:00Z

If true and lasting change is ever to unfold there must be a constant and unflagging need to be in relationship with what every moment brings. I am seeing how rare it is that I acknowledge that this moment at hand matters.

- It matters that I remember myself when I enter the nursing home where my 90-year-old mother- in- law with Alzheimer's resides. If I don't I will be flooded with judgment and self-reference.

- It matters that I remember myself when I gather with family members. If I don't nothing new can emerge and the empty search for "familiarity" will dominate the conversations.

- It matters that I am present when I hand my credit card to the clerk. Then I might be a little more patient or even kindness may show up.

- It matters that I am present when I eat. Then the possibility is created to see the animal inside that just wants to satiate a desire. It also brings awareness to the quality of food that I am eating.

- It matters that I am present when I am engaged in any conversation. Quite often there is no one there on either side of the conversation? My wish is to observe myself listening, listen to myself talking.

- It matters that every moment when I remember myself, I realize that I was created to be in relationship with the whole of life as it's playing out. I was not meant to be living in some parallel universe of distracted thought.

"Many acts of voluntary attention produce an accumulation of force"

"Could you not watch with me just one hour" -Christ

"Attention Animates" -GF

My wish is to welcome "the education of the soul," as Guy calls it and not resist, as is the tendency of this nature. If we work inwardly we build a body of knowledge and understanding that will go before us to make the crooked places straight. Something in me knows this from a distant perspective. I have to "be" in the classroom where new knowledge is given. That classroom is the moment at hand and unlike my attitude long ago when I went to school, it does matter.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

Let Go and Outgrow What's Holding You Down

2010-05-26T21:03:00Z

Albert Einstein said, "We can't solve our problems from the level of thinking which created them." When we begin to wake up, just a little bit, to this inner conspiracy called incessant thinking we start to see a paradox. Over and over we blindly seek counsel from the very culprit that caused our problems in the first place. It's like going to an opposing party's lawyer during a trial and asking for advice on what you should do with your case. This play of interior misdirection is what keeps us from discovering our true purpose in life, which is to simply be engaged with Life as it presents itself.

So, how do I get in touch with this level that is beyond thinking, and how can it help solve my "special" problems? I have heard it said many times that there is no problem right here, right now. The problem comes when you start thinking about a problem that happened in the past or could happen in the imagined future. Our default inner compass seems to point us to true south during a disturbance instead of True North and we never question it.

Guy said in class last week that "this nature's sole purpose is to keep us from seeing what we are." If we could clearly see the ugliness in returning anger for anger, holding on to animosity and having enemies, arguing with anyone, wallowing in negative thinking, jealousy of any kind, petty grievances and constant complaining we would let go and outgrow these ridiculous behaviors. But, No! Something inside misdirects me into believing these dark states have value and I'm whisked off into their custody.

"Every daring dismissal of what we have already been is a conscious invitation to realize who we are yet to be." -GF

According to Webster's "to realize" means to "bring into concrete existence, to be fully aware of, to conceive vividly as real or to convert into actual money." I love all four of those definitions. My dog was real. There was no pretense in him. The beauty of this spring day and all the shades of green out my window are real. Washing my pot of oatmeal and being present while doing it is real. Knowing that I am walking and carrying a cup of tea from the kitchen to my office is real. This is who I am meant to be.

It sounds simplistic but I have had great pleasure the last few days realizing my purpose by working to be more aware of what I am doing in the moment or more specifically right now by feeling my fingers touch the keys as I type.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

The Genesis of an Authentic Life

2010-04-03T17:25:00Z

genesis - the time or circumstances of something's coming into being

One of the most promising and encouraging ideas in this work is that in any given moment you can always start over. Something new and full of possibilities (a genesis) is waiting to come into being. But the ground of this new possibility always comes with a payment, which is leaving the old way (old self) behind, not sometime in the future, but right here, right now. The words that always help me come back to my inner work are "just start." There is no more eloquent plan for a genuine spiritual life than to just start and let Life show you what you need. Here's the big problem. "I" don't recognize what Life is trying to show me (it's not in my comfort zone) so I meet the newness with a conditioned resistance.

As an example: When we are full of negativity and fear wouldn't that be the best time to start over. But that's not my experience. I hold on and protect the destructive state like a mother holds on to her child's hand in traffic. The beautiful truth is that we have the God given right to start over and the right not to be negative and fearful. How often do you think of it in those terms? Our perennial knee jerk reaction is to defend the state, blame someone else or go into self-punishment. This moment of disturbance is the very moment of possible change but instead we fight the doctor who has brought the medicine to heal us.

We are asked in these moments to "return home" much like the prodigal son who finds himself in the pigsty. Every moment we catch ourselves in a daydream we have left home. Every moment we catch ourselves in mechanical, repetitive behavior we have left home. Every moment we catch ourselves caught once again in any kind of negative state we have left home. Every moment we are not working to be present we have left home.

So what's a spiritual aspirant to do? I can just start to be more aware of what is coursing through me as often as possible. I can even say to the state there it is again, there's blame, there's anxiety... If I don't know interiorly what I am carrying then I'm being carried. Guy said last night "you're never not radiating your state. You literally change the atmosphere of the room with your state, good or bad." If we were present and awake to ourselves we could never carry anxiety, fear or depression and we wouldn't inflict our state on others. No one would consciously choose to reside in darkness over being in relationship with the light. So, let's throw out the old guard who is constantly feeding us misinformation.

Over the last 15 years I have seen the fruits of Guy's example "just start"

- a student suggested over a decade ago that Guy have a website. No one knew much about the internet. Guy said just start. We now have two websites that bring these healing ideas to nearly every country on the planet.

- Over a decade ago, Guy found 17 acres in Merlin Oregon with a falling down old house, and an assortment of rusty cars and trailers on it. Now there is a beautiful thriving campus for Life of Learning Foundation.

- Guy asked myself and another student to start a music program with only a handful of musicians. With great resistance on my part we just started not knowing what would be possible. Music and singing is now present at every meeting. We recorded our first album last year.

- Guy asked a roomful of non-gardeners to start an organic garden. Several students took on the challenge and just started. We now have two large garden areas, a fruit orchard and a chicken coop with 24 chickens for laying eggs.

The genesis is always the beginning of something new coming into being. We all love newness. The right part of us loves to explore new things. We are pre-loaded with a certain joy when something new arrives whether it's a baby, a package from Fed-Ex or some new opportunity that arises. What could be more satisfying than to begin to be in relationship with the new mind of God and His inner and outer universe? To me, that would be an authentic life, full of purpose. It's being offered to us moment to moment if we would just start over.

"I am going to live the idea not think it anymore" -GF

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

How does one really Change?

2010-02-27T19:11:00Z

I walked past my piano in my living room last night and realized that my piano playing hasn't changed in over 40 years. I worked for 2 years to put on a required senior recital in college in order to get my degree in music. Today my "repertoire" consists of those same songs with only partial remembrance of them. I did what I needed to do to get what I wanted at the time (my degree.) That pretty much sums up my daily mantra.

Since then I have gone through phases where I practice for a while and then get distracted with more "important duties." I have used the piano since then only as a tool to write little ditties and learn the choral music that I work with.

It struck me that my life, my daily existence is being used as a tool for purposes other than what I would choose. Mechanical life is going to do what it needs to do to get what it wants. This work is about breaking into our day (waking up) and practicing the difficult sections of the music not just playing the same old ditties that come easy. No one likes to practice the hard parts. It's only in the hard work of the difficult sections of music (life) that will lead us to be able to understand and play the new music that we're intended. No one is meant to play the same old songs for a lifetime but sadly that's what happens to most of us.

I will use this glimpse into my interior life to listen more attentively when:

- I start complaining about my life or about what I have to do today (same old songs.)

- That familiar thought breaks in and tells me I have a right to set that person straight.

- I come upon a circumstance or a disturbing thought that pulls me down into a funk.

I am starting to see that if I am ever to begin to experience true change I must start right now (each moment) by responding differently to what life is requesting. To consciously practice when I meet the difficult parts of the composition (Life) means to accept and bear what the moment is bringing me instead of resisting the needed work. Then I can begin to participate with the new music and be the unique instrument that God created with my name on it.

"If I let myself be changed there's no me left to resist

Find out what it means to be response and change" - GF

Doug Norby/ Alive Guide Host

An Anxious Golfer

2010-01-30T18:18:00Z

This writing is in response to a students question about anxiety in his golf game.

Hello Rich,

My name is Doug Norby and I am a long time associate and golfing partner of Guy Finley. He asked that I write back to you concerning your question about the middle aged jitters.

I am 59 years old, I have been playing golf for over 45 years. I played hIgh school and college golf and like you, do love the game. I even helped build a public golf course here in 1994 and still own a third of it. Seems like I should have this game down by now. But I can suffer just like you and do lose confidence in my game at times.

The golf course is a tremendous laboratory for learning about ourselves and about our game.

Guy has said many times that "the feel is real but the why is a lie" The feeling of anxiety on the first tee is always there for everybody, even the pro's. It feels real. Our part is to not identify with it and put our name to it. Such as "I'm anxious."

Next time you feel the anxiety, consciously slow down inwardly, take 3 deliberate breaths and simply acknowledge the feeling and say "there is anxiety. It's running through me." Then you can say (for grins) "there is a ball washer, there is a tree." It's no different. The anxiety is no more "you" than the ball washer or the tree. It's just a passing energy.

I'm not saying this is easy, but each of us has to see for ourself how we get duped by negative, anxious states. They try and define us. That's the trick and we have been conditioned our whole life to take the bait. There is no magic bullet that any one can offer that will guarantee that the anxiety will go away BUT you if you work at this you can begin to see that you don't have to be the instrument of negative thoughts and emotions. The anxiety basically comes up because we want something. We want a particular outcome. "The more insistence, the more resistance" as Guy would say.

It's important to note that the work that we do at life of Learning is not about conquering fear and anxiety. It's about observing it and eventually calling its bluff. So, on the golf course we use these principles to see into the nature that wants to steal the joy of the game from us. The golf swing is 100% mechanical. It doesn't require any thinking. It does require good, repeatable fundamentals and that's where practice comes in. So, step up to the ball, make your best swing and let go of the result.

If you are present and working to be aware, you can instantly learn what went right or wrong with your golf swing. You may notice if you were quick, off balance, or on your back foot, whatever. Once you notice what happened, let it go and don't beat yourself up or glorify yourself for the shot. Just notice it and let go. Notice the inner voices which come up after each shot telling you how great or how terrible you are. Guy has said "Stop, drop, and bear" your internal state, no matter how humiliating. If you don't try to push it away, authentic change can come.

The second thing that I guarantee you that Guy would say to you is never, never, never give up. Never quit on yourself during a round and take the easy way out which, ironically, is to get negative. We have been conditioned to think that getting negative is a good idea when things go bad. I've done it hundreds of times on the golf course. You can see the insanity of that behavior.

If you're like me you will want to play this game until your body won't allow you to any more. And even when I say that you and I both know golfers who are severely handicapped, blind or even in a wheel chair and they are still enjoying the game. Never leave the game for mental reasons. I saw my father lose the joy of playing golf when he was in his early 70's. He got negative about his score and lost a valuable activity that my mom and he had shared.

Playing with Guy has taught me a lot about not quitting during a round as well. There is a tendency in a round when things start going bad that we just quit interiorly. We can say to ourself "I don't really care about this." Then we go through the motions as we finish the round and miss a grand opportunity to learn. If one is interested in genuine interior work you can begin to see that the time to "go to work" inwardly is precisely when thing are going the worst. We can see reality more clearly when we hit bottom. Our pain is based on the fact that we insist on things going a certain way. I have to break 80 today. I can't look bad in front of my friends. I am a better golfer than this. It's all nonsense. If you (me or anyone) could play better we would. No one has all good days. No one has all bad days. If Nick Faldo could play at the level he used to he wouldn't be sitting in the announcer's booth. He has said that he has the middle age jitters. It's all in scale. If you fight for yourself and your love of the game, Life will show you what you need to learn. Even more important is that you can learn something about "Rich" every time you set out on a new round. Most of the time we don't want to learn we just want things to go as planned. Who is doing the planning here?

One final story. A couple of months ago I had one of the worst putting rounds of my life I probably missed 6 or 7 putts under 8 feet and 3 of them were probably 3-4 foot putts. I had no touch. I could feel the discouragement and the desire to want to quit inwardly during the round but I didn't. I still had a miserable round but I left the course determined to learn more about a more consistent putting stroke. So, I just started practicing putting almost every day. I also started practicing in general more consistently. It's made a difference for now. So the point is if we are ever to become a different kind of golfer or human being we need to practice a new kind of presence in the moment. This will not come easily but the work is worth it if you want to eventually be inwardly free of this debilitating anxiety.

As best you can, practice with consciousness, play with consciousness. Try to be present to what is coursing through you without identifying with it (good or bad.) And most important realize that you don't have to carry any negative state. Give it to something higher. Work through the anxiety with patience and persistence. Truth (God, the Divine) will never let you down. After all is said and done it's not really about golf, it's about finding a genuine relationship with Life itself.

Best regards,

Doug Norby

Life of Learning Foundation

"Beyond the resistance is the flow" - Guy Finley

The Return Home

2010-01-30T18:11:00Z

"God can only reach you within yourself" -GF

The story of the Prodigal Son is our story every moment. The call to grab your inheritance, leave home and squander your treasure on what the world has to offer is happening right now on many levels. It's an inner life story and it takes some work to see that it's not just some rebellious son who comes home broke and desperate. It's the story of you and me every time we get lured away from our "home" by a passing thought or desire.

The truth (God) resides in our inner home and gently whispers for us to stay home where your father lives. "In my house are many mansions." Stay home and explore here. If we were listening, we would hear truth remind us that we need not make that snappy sarcastic remark. Stay home. We don't have to fall into that same pattern of depression or destructive behavior. Stay home. Every time we find our selves lost in imagination we have left home and are literally squandering our inheritance. Come home.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is within." In a recent talk Guy said "God can only reach you within yourself." He urged us to stay within our self, meaning, to know as best you can, that you are present and in your body and not in mechanical imagination. Know when you are speaking with someone. Be fully with whatever you are doing. Notice more and more the imbalance when you leave "home." We are on our own once we venture out, but the merciful good news is we are always welcome back. We can actually start to feel the departure once we begin to work on ourselves, which is why self-study is so important. "Know Yourself." Our mechanical nature wants to keep us asleep. It has purposes of its own and these purposes are not in our best interest.

It all comes down to catching our selves going out the door. This work is never about doing something new it's always about seeing something new. What we can "do" is do this work. I can remember myself, I can separate from negative states and I can snap out of these incessant daydreams. Even if it's only for a moment. We will never come home to a true relationship with the Divine until we value it above all else. How do we do that? Return home as often as you can.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

True Spiritual Power

2010-01-07T19:22:00Z

"The power behind true spirituality is surrender" - GF

It's winter and outside my window there are a few dead, brown leaves left that cling to an oak tree. I watch as the wind reaches around the branch and works to shake them off the tree. But these brittle, lifeless forms (which are done serving their purpose) are tenacious as they hold on for dear life. I went outside to see what was left to connect them to the branch. I pulled on one, it had a little resistance, but I pulled it off.

What am I holding on to that's dead? Am I willing to get up and remove any lifeless forms that I am clinging to? I am talking about all the compartmentalized habits and thought patterns that I still feel have value.

The proof that I think they are valuable is the fact that I keep returning to their council when life brings me an unwanted moment. Let's face it, every 5 minutes there can be a thought or encounter that I don't find welcoming. I know that my work is to call upon something other than anxiety, fear, resentment, anger or depression.

In fact each of us were created to be living in a presence of serenity, peace, pure understanding, mercy and contentment. We sense this because we say that's what we want - BUT - this person, this circumstance, this unfair situation prevents it AND when that's resolved then I can go back to working on my inner life.

There are four words that can change ones life- I must work NOW. I can come wide awake to the potential of the moment not just what my conditioned mind tells me about the moment. I must work now with exactly what life has put in front of me and not wait until I feel like it. In almost 16 years of trying to do this work this intention is probably the most important. Work when you don't feel like it.

It's becoming clearer to me that real spiritual work involves surrendering not conquering, becoming watchful instead of willful. Simple examples are: not saying that unkind remark or not rushing when doing the dishes. The list is lengthy if we're willing to look. "Doug" the conqueror hasn't exactly brought about the utopia he promised.

So what am I actually surrendering to? To the process of spiritual transformation that I was put on this earth to do. In practical terms, I am surrendering to another will that's not the one that usually takes charge in the moment. I can work to be still, to allow some silence, some space. "Not my will but Thy will be done."

Let's each find one moment today when a disturbance or a triumph arrives and work to be still instead of active. The test is always the same, in the moment of need what do you call on.

"Finding the True Powers needed to take control of your life begins with understanding the false powers now in charge of your life." -GF

Doug Norby/ Alive Guide Host

Reclaim Your Attention

2009-12-25T17:14:00Z

"Whenever we are not present and properly attentive to ourselves, we may be sure the false self is busy attending to something we will be paying for in the days ahead." -GF

How many times during your day do you consciously notice where your attention is directed? You can count them on one hand if you're honest. We resonate with the idea of being present and having our own attention but we quickly lose this "right feeling" to the thousands of distractions that bombard us outwardly and inwardly. The sheer weight of these distractions in our present culture (TV, Movies, News, Facebook, Twitter, I-Phones, e-mail...) are accelerating at such a pace that we are left with little chance to have a natural life unless we can reclaim our attention.

This reclamation process is so important to any genuine inner work but it requires a continual effort to consciously work especially when we don't feel like it. Guy told us in a recent talk that we have to work through the night. Meaning that we can never stop being attentive to the workings of our inner life. We must never become complacent in regard to our being. One cannot take a vacation from inner work because if you do, you are the one who pays for it. How? we always go back to sleep inwardly. It's what this (false) nature does without a deliberate fight on our part for this precious commodity called our attention (awareness.)

Reclaiming my attention has to start with noticing what has hijacked my life. This noticing is the actual experiencing of attachments, identities, constant anxiety and fears, persistent self-justification and judgment of others and our self. We may think seeing this is negative but it's just the opposite. Seeing the workings of this insidious false nature actually sets us free and empowers us to be in relationship with right knowledge, right being and higher understanding.

My wish and intention is to work harder today than yesterday to see where I have given away my attention once again. In the spirit of Christmas may we all allow the light of God's life to enter our hearts and guide us moment to moment.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

Do Something Different Now!

2009-12-08T23:51:00Z

"We are created to be self-correcting beings through our awareness

of whatever we see within us that is needful of being corrected." -GF

How often do you catch a wave of negative thoughts and ride it for hours or days without questioning it? We should call it surfing the black hole because there is no possibility of light entering our heart within that dark ride. I received a shock recently and I grabbed my board and started riding a fairly large wave of resentment. I wasn't "there" to receive the lesson that life was bringing to me in the moment. What was there was the same old self that wants to have it his way and that defensive self refuses to be something different when a challenge arises. I rode this familiar painful wave for a short while and then got off, but I missed the greater lesson in the moment, which is the opportunity to consciously suffer my self.

It's becoming clearer to me that unless I do something different in the moment of a shock, I will stay a captive of the mechanical, conditioned reactions that govern my life. Guy has often reminded us that a conscious man or woman could never hurt them self or another. If I were genuinely present when a shock or disturbance confronts me, it would not be possible to act out of anger or blame. So it's evident, that unless I'm awake to myself in the moment, my conditioning will always dictate what to do and I will oblige without missing a beat. It's that missing beat that I want to become aware of. In that split second when a new disturbance is introduced, God is offering me a chance to burn off some the dross that's been accumulated through a lifetime of resistance to these merciful lessons.

I presently treat resistance, self-protection and defensiveness like dear friends. The office of their council is where I go when things aren't going my way. My wish is to bear these dark states instead of acting from or resisting them. My further wish is to bring myself into the disturbance closer and closer to the moment of arrival. Then the "storm" will naturally do the cleansing that it came to do in the first place.

Doug Norby/ Alive Guide Host

Being True Begins With You!

2009-11-20T19:51:00Z

If we only agree to do what's true, with the provision that others do it too, then it is not the truth that we serve and whatever we get from life- we deserve. -GF

There would be a monumental shift in each of our lives if we could realize that being true (being whole) always begins with me, right now in this situation, never later. But we have this "Being True" deal completely backwards. Our lives are the evidence of it. We wouldn't voice it, but our moment to moment inner states reveal that our happiness and well being relies on the person next to me, the person across from me, the government official who wants my money, the person who just cut me off or is tailgating or the person/event that just created this unwanted situation. How can I be true when so many people are false?

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar." - Mark Twain. Recognizing that a liar lives in us is the first step toward being true. Until we see this in ourselves we are just dancing with the truth and protecting the very self that is in fact the liar.

So what does being true mean?

- Being true means putting the truth first in all things no matter the cost. Guy is always telling us to risk more. Here's the benefit: "If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite" - William Blake

- Being true means bringing your full attention to the unwanted moment and not searching to find who or what to blame for what I am feeling. If I am not present with what's in front of me right now, I am just another vacant human being reacting to stimuli.

- Being true means being aware of the other person's needs and going so far as to put their needs before my own. We've all heard and nodded at the truth of the sayings: The first shall be last, Love your neighbor as yourself and "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." And "But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." I have always thought this kind of saintly behavior was only for the highest of beings. Who could do this?

We were created to do this. These eternal truths actually provide us the roadmap for every human being who wants to be in right relationship with each other, the world and the divine. We are meant to discover the Godly life (authentic life) by putting the truth to the test and risking being true in the moments when we feel it's impossible. Failing and starting over and over is the only genuine path to understanding (real success). Being true is taking total responsibility for our life no matter what the other person is doing. Wouldn't we like to see that in others? Wouldn't we like to see that in ourselves?

Guy has given us three words to help us remember our aim when we fail at our intention to be to be true: "You can learn."

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

The Mind's Addiction to Movement

2009-11-01T02:11:00Z

I drive to a spiritual school (Life of Learning) 4-5 times a week. It's a ten-minute drive. My intention is to keep my attention on my driving and use the surroundings to stay present and not wander off in thought. After all I �m on my way to learn more about an authentic spiritual life. How am I doing so far? In this short drive I usually can't go 15 seconds without some rogue thought demanding my attention. It captures me as I move toward my physical destination with a thought about some current problem or person that has to be mulled over. Some times, because I am going to class, I can snap out of the dream and come back to being in the present. But if feels like it takes quite an inner force to do that.

These thoughts feed on this continual churning of the mind. It's an addiction to movement, which has captured my thinking. Happy or sad, it doesn't matter. Why is it so important for each of us to see this about our self? It seems like it would drive you crazy to be constantly observing this interplay going on in the mind. Why not leave it alone and just try and be happy? Well because thought can't leave you alone. It's doing what its supposed to do. It's keeping the mind busy. That's its nature but it's not our God given nature. I am seeing that if I can become still, inwardly, it loses its hold on me and I have a chance to be in my God given relationship to the "presence" moment.

Our base camp is meant to be in stillness, always a return to stillness. Have you ever found peace returning to movement and rushing? It takes real work to find out for our self how we default to a turning toward movement. Just look at a waiting room in a Doctor or Dentist office. Everyone is looking at a magazine or at their Blackberries, I-Phones or just seeming anxious. It�s a rare thing to find someone just sitting still being present in the room. I tried this last week and it was very "unnatural" to this self.

As Guy stresses constantly, it's imperative to have an inner prayer when we are not engaged in practical thought. Otherwise the thoughts just keep on arriving down the assembly line. Our work is for each of us to find our own inner prayer. One that I often use is "Be Still and Know that I Am God" from the Psalms. It's something higher speaking to me giving me the secret to an authentic spiritual life. It's also the way to break my addiction to the movement of thought. Be - Still - Know- I AM- God.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

Bring the "dark self" into the light of consciousness

2009-10-24T14:34:00Z

"The path to self-perfection weaves its secret way through the land of imperfection, where only the conscious awareness of where we actually are changes forever where we stand." - GF

If we're honest, we will move at light speed to point out the appearance of another person's "dark self." We feel completely justified to pounce on any negativity we observe in another (they shouldn't be that way), but we immediately move to hide or deny our dark self when it is triggered. What is this dark self? It is that familiar current of anger, resentment, complaining, self-righteous judgment, annoyance or lethargy that we dance with all day long. It steals our attention and with it our God given life energy.

Most of the time I have no clue that I am in relationship with a dark self. It's so familiar. As I work to be more conscious, I can start with the first sign of a small irritation before it begins to mutate into a negative state. My work is to simply notice all the energies that pass through, both pleasant and unpleasant. There it is, a complaint. There it is, a good feeling. We all know how difficult this is because we have so many false identities and attachments that lead us around all day. To literally do the familiar saying, "hold your tongue" (fingers on your tongue) would be a great work exercise next time one feels the rush to express anything negative. I am beginning to see the seriousness of this daily neglect. Guy has told us in very clear terms that we lose force when we think or act mechanically, but the force of anything done consciously remains. I can feel the truth of that.

I was irritated by something I heard yesterday and was about to make a criticism of a relative. I stopped myself before I started peppering the air with judgment. It was a burning feeling because my mechanical mode is so conditioned to just let the judgment fly (because after all I'm right about this situation.) Self-righteousness of any kind is a dark self. This Work asks us to turn it around and think of this dark self as the "other person" in us. On Sunday Guy spoke about the fact that we are not alone. All human beings from the beginning of time are touched by this old, dark energy.

So here's the big difference in what we've been conditioned to do and think and what truth teaches. Truth asks us to accept and bear the dark state when it comes up instead of resisting or identifying with it. Start with the small stuff, the small annoyances that can easily grow into big ones. This has been a helpful exercise for me this week. When you turn on a light in a dark room what happens to the darkness? The light never fights with darkness because it has no need. I will work harder to light up more of my inner rooms and stop being such a "kind" host to these dark selves.

"O friend, awake and sleep no more!

The night is over and gone, would you lose your day also?

You have slept for un-numbered ages: this morning will you not awake? - Tagore

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host 10/23/09

The Power to Possess Yourself

2009-10-09T20:41:00Z

One of the first ideas I took special notice of when I started listening to Guy was "come back to yourself." It was a slight shock because I wasn't used to thinking in those terms. He would interrupt his talks and say come back to your self, notice your breathing, come back into the room and be in your body. He was reminding us to stay present and not be caught up in thought. This began a very slow process of discovering that the majority of my time is spent "outside" of where I physically reside moment to moment. I literally live in a "waking" daydream or in spiritual terms I am sound asleep. Christ said "Could you not watch with me for one hour."

"O watchman be wakeful -

The whole city could be lost

if you fall asleep" - Rumi

The weight of spiritual slumber is immense and that's why we have to "work" constantly to pull ourselves out of this mechanical, illusory world of thought and perpetual daydreams. If we don't work eventually our whole "inner city" can be lost. But it all starts with catching ourselves "nodding off" or realizing that we are lost in thinking about something that is entirely unrelated to where our body is at the moment. Here are a couple of recent instances of catching myself:

- While eating my oatmeal yesterday I caught myself essentially shoveling the food in my mouth. That simple shock helped me to remember myself, slow down and just be present while I am trying to nourish my body. What a different experience in eating and I'm sure much better for my digestion. I could actually feel a shift from one world to another. The world of mechanical life to an order of right relationship to the present moment.

- A customer just signed a sales contract with me and he proceeds to bore me with a personal story. I could feel the pain and resistance interiorly to having to listen to him. So instead of fawning and pretending to enjoy his story I just came back to myself and stayed with the man as best I could without the judgment, keeping my attention in the present. I could feel the shift and maybe he did as well because he wrapped up the story rather quickly.

The power to posses our self is always available to us. The problem is that we currently think that we already possess our attention. We don't notice that we are constantly carried away by virtually every random thought that beckons to us. It's astounding that we can agree to the importance of staying present and 2 minutes later we are carried away. So being watchful and wakeful is always my task otherwise, as the poet says, I will lose my city.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

Fight for Your Attention

2009-09-25T15:41:00Z

I was washing my cup at the kitchen sink early this morning and woke up to the fact that all I need to do in this moment is be present while I'm washing the cup and nothing else. Feel the warm water in my hands and do the job at hand. Stay with the experience of where my body is. When I pulled myself out of thought, washing the cup became an enjoyable task. This wake up call has happened to me thousands of times over the years and yet I still find myself "captive" to a ping-pong game of thought for most of my day.

Thought wants to take over as quickly as possible in the morning and its method is always the same, by capturing my attention. I could feel I was captured when I woke up at the sink and came back to myself. It was a relief to pull myself out of a waking dream. But if I am captured it implies that I am going to have to fight to gain my freedom in this area. Guy has spoken to us many times about the value of claiming our own attention. It's the one thing that we have a right to possess, but it doesn't come easy.

My task moment to moment is to know where my attention is and catch myself when I am off in a memory. We are created to be present with the task at hand and to complete the task as consciously as possible and nothing more. Then, to be present with what life brings next. Thinking about what's next rarely accomplishes anything. This work is trying to teach us that "I am here and nothing more." Every time I wake up to this refreshing fact I enter a different world.

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host

The Loss of inner force

2009-08-29T16:07:00Z

"When you truly see that the only thing you ever fight with is yourself, all your battles are over." -GF (rough translation)

Like a life raft with holes in it that is destined to sink, we lose our inner force any time we unconsciously agree with negative states. (We would never consciously agree to get negative.) Have you ever felt deflated after an argument? It's a feeling that a certain life force was taken out of you. No one could ever honestly say that they felt full of light and truth after engaging in a war of words with another. In this work we are shown that any argument for any reason creates a hole where our inner force can escape.

Let's take it one step further. Anytime I am not present to myself I lose inner force. Vernon Howard said: "Everyone is either on the upward path or the downward path." Something is either filling us or taking from us. I think that this is so important to see that I wanted to make a brief list of the ways we lose inner force and the ways we actually gain inner force.

We lose inner force when: we sink into any form of depression

We gain inner force when: we go quiet

We lose force when: we go along with our usual mechanical reactions

We gain force when: we remember our self

We lose force when: we repeat harmful behavior patterns

We gain force when: we catch our self in the act

We lose force when: we complain about anything

We gain force when: we remember God

We gain force when we are aware that: we're eating an apple, washing our hands, brushing our teeth, talking on the phone ...... when we are present.

We can say that we know this but knowledge doesn't translate into being. Understanding translates into being. In order to understand more fully I need to see where my attention goes all day long. On behalf of this false nature, the mind is drawn into a thousand different ploys for the sole purpose of keeping us out of the present. Its domain exists in the past or the projected future.

I've been on this path for over 15 years and on a spiritual path for most of my 59 years. I have often wanted to quit when this false nature claimed another victory. I felt what's the use. I will never get past this stranglehold that this darkness has on me. I cannot see a way to be free and at peace. Then, I go with a convenient distraction that takes me out of the uncomfortable moment.

Last night Guy encouraged us to get through the whole of the moment. Stay completely with the anger, fear, depression or discouragement. Don't resist it or run from it. Stay with the feeling of the state, but don't go along with what it tells you it means. Guy has said, "The feel is real, but the "why" is a lie. Stay with what is real: the feeling. By staying with the feeling, bearing it, it can be transformed and the lie will disappear.

Life is very patient with us. It is always teaching us that we are meant to be in relationship with what is right in front of us (the present) whether we call it good or bad. We have all had a taste of this or we wouldn't be pressing on.

"Truth must be received as it is, in its original purity, and not

interpreted or distorted according to habitual assumptions." -VH

Doug Norby/Alive Guide Host